I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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