i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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