is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
