Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
