the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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