Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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