An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
