Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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