I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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