remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
