at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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