Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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