Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm passing your future prison.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
