this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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