What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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