Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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