This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
