If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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