I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize