what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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