my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
porn star boner night. come get it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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