We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Bring me that man meat
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
