I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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