He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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