Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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