Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
