I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
