I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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