I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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