Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
