im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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