if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
