WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
