Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
