VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
