i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
