Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
