Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The maid of honor just puked.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
