I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
