Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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