Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
