The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my being single is dangerous.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
