you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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