I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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