You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
