I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
