I'm going to jail i love you
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
