Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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