Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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