I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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