i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
